The Fastest Mouths: Flash vs. Hermes

As promised nothing but complete and total shenanigans for the next thousand words or so, and boy will it be fun with guys like these joining us.  First is yet another illegitimate son of Zeus, Hermes a god who at only a few days old swindled Apollo out of his cows with a lyre, the patron god of thieves and pranksters alike in a match up for the first time with everyone's favorite wisecracking Justice League hero Berry Allen or as most know him, The Flash.

He couldn't catch this guy quite fast enough

Where to start with these two, I guess we might as well start with the beginning.  Hermes from the very start was trouble.  At only a day old he wiggled away from his mom, stole Apollo's cows, and made a lyre.  Apollo upset that his baby brother had the audacity to steal from him went to Zeus, but before any grounding could happen Hermes began to play the lyre and Apollo was so enchanted he traded his cows for the instrument.

That's the staff he won from Apollo

Berry for his high energy and humorous nature had a much darker beginning.  As a kid his mother was murdered causing him to pursue a career as a forensic scientist, until he was struck by lightning and became...The Flash, the fastest man alive.  And to start the humor/irony before and even after the accident Berry, even as the fastest man, has a tendency to be chronically late.

Don't be fooled by his intensity he really is a goof ball

As the messenger of the gods Hermes is known to be pretty fast himself, his winged sandals allow him to move quickly around the globe as his delivers messages, soles to the underworld, or causes the other gods grief.  Seeing that our two favorite pranksters had super speed it isn't that surprising that their mouths could match, I mean Hermes was also the god of oratory.

For some pretty light hearted guys they did have a bit of darkness surrounding them.  In the case of the Flash his mother's murder and father's conviction is what lead him to become a police scientist and later a hero.  And Hermes was in charge of leading the souls of the dead to the underworld, a rather morbid profession.

That's just how he rolls 

Yet the god was know for his quick wit and ability to make jokes in any and all circumstances.  When Aphrodite was caught in the act of adultery with Ares by her husband Hephaestus putting a net over their bed, all the gods came to laugh at their plight.  Apollo turned to hermes and asked if he would sleep with Aphrodite if the same would happen to him.  He replied that even if all the gods saw and four times the amount of chains held him he would still sleep with Aphrodite, everyone thought it was funny, except Aphrodite (she is still a bit embarrassed).

Drama! The source of the funny man's power

Flash also while taking his job seriously isn't the harsh man he keeps company with (He spends time with Batman for crying out loud) or the arduous by the book guy Superman is.  When he and a fellow hero go to question one of his nemeses Trickster, they find him at a bar.  After questioning the other hero asks about his enemy, "Oh right.  After your drink turn yourself in!"  "Got me again Flash."

If there is anything these tricksters teach us it’s that in every culture in every time period people love the goof balls.  They make dark tales lighter and more enjoyable while adding a flare of fun to every circumstance.  So even the “sophisticated” Greeks like the wisecrackers in their epics and stories.

So why is it important to look at these characters that often obscured by the much more famous heroes also occupying their respective worlds?  Because they exist!  Lot’s of the “academic” and “sophisticated" reader/critics look down on comics because of their flashy sometimes over the top characters.

Let’s think about this Hermes said he would sleep with Aphrodite even if he got caught in more chains in front of everyone (which did happen to Ares).  Why?  Well in colloquial, modern, crass terms, she’s hot and he’d totally tap that. 

 

I solemnly swear I am up to no good

Does that sound like some goofy guy friends you might know?  If your guy friends are anything like mine I wouldn’t be surprised.  And he doesn’t stop there, he is known throughout all Greek mythology for these kinds of jokes, and pranks. 

Flash stays more with the wisecracks but the one good thing is you don’t have to translate into modern terms, it’s already done for you.  So you can be lazy and chuckle at his range from funny to lame jokes and either snicker or join Batman in the rolling of the eyes (seriously Bats is an expert now he could definitely give you pointers on the proper eye rolling technique). 

But look even the Greeks, the highest of all ancient academic literature, have a funny guy and he is definitely funny, and a bad influence in general.  He even is comparable to the funny guy of today; I’d read about him anytime.  Good job Greeks!  

So where does that leaves us?  what roles should comic heroes and Grecian heroes play in modern society and literature?  All this and more to be answered in the next installment, or as comics would say...

To Be Continued...